All the world is wonderful
Filled with people beautiful
So many things to see and do
So many dreams to make come true
Still, there’s one thing to understand
Its all illusion through and through
Reality like grains of sand
Slipping quickly through our hands
It’s a sleight of hand
Conjuror’s trick
A puff of smoke and it’s gone
Don’t you get caught up this parlor trick
When all is said and done, you’ve been fooled
“Love Me Leave Me” Love Me Leave Me Remixes (2013), Love Me Leave Me LP (2013)
Love me, leave me
Devour me, deceive me
Is that the way that this is going to be
Between you and me
You say you want me, I’m sure that’s true
But how long will it be until you’re through
There’s something I don’t trust in your eyes
You speak to me with sugar coated lies
Love me, leave me
Devour me, deceive me
I know you’ll leave me alone
Love me, leave me
Devour me, deceive me
I know you’ll leave me alone
Ooh ooh ooh…
(repeat all)
— by Anji Bee (BMI)
Note:These lyrics were originally written in mid-2003 for a collaboration with a band called Realm that never panned out. The vocal files from that demo recording session were sent over to Rom di Prisco, who created a version of this song for the 2004 Bitstream Dream album, ‘Integration,’ which is no longer available. A brand new version was produced in 2013 by Anji and Ryan Lum (of Lovespirals) for my debut solo album released in late 2013. An 11 song remix single was also released in 2013, including the 2004 mix by Bitstream Dream plus all new mixes created from the new recording.
I feel the whole world moving through me
Entire populations stirring within me
I feel their lives, their deaths, filling me
I want to embrace them with my body
To mother and encase, to heal with my flesh
I am the embodiment of goodness
I shall touch the ill and make them whole
I am expanding out of all proportion
Rivers course through me, tears and blood
And emotions more dense than earth
I am inescapably pulled by the mighty tide
And pull again in turn with my gravitational field
— I carry you —
I feel the whole world moving through me
Entire populations stirring within me
I feel their lives, their deaths, filling me
I want to embrace them with my body
To mother and encase, to heal with my flesh
I am the embodiment of goodness
I shall touch the ill and make them whole
I am expanding out of all proportion
Rivers course through me, tears and blood
And emotions more dense than earth
I am inescapably pulled by the mighty tide
And pull again in turn with my gravitational field
I am burning with scorching heat at my core
Giving birth with my voice
Some time ago and far away
I met a boy who could make me smile
We fell in love on that fateful day
And I stayed for a little while
But all dreams must end
And this was no exception
I’d like to think that we’re still friends
That’s just my perception
I had to leave and come back home
So goodbye, Steve
I hope you make it on your own
Good bye, good bye
— by Anji Bee (BMI)
Note:These lyrics were previously written for a collaboration with Moondawg for a side project called Dreamzone 51 we began in February 2000. Below are the original, full lyrics.
Some time ago and far away
(Far away)
I met a boy who could make me smile
(Make me smile)
We fell in love on that fateful day
And I stayed for a little while
But all dreams must end
(They end)
And this was no exception
(They end)
I’d like to think that we’re still friends
That’s just my perception
I had to leave and come back home
(Home)
So goodbye Steve
I hope you make it on your own
(Good bye, good bye, good bye)
I hope you make it on your own
(Good bye, good bye, good bye)
You know I care
(I care)
I always will
(I always will)
Though I’m not there
I hope you sense me still
(Like I do you)
I might not’ve been fair
(Unfair)
To us, my dear
(To us, my dear)
But I just couldn’t shake the fear
(The fear, fear, fear)
After answering Rik’s interview questions, I ended up slimming down my reply to his first question because it was so long. Thought I would go ahead and share it here, though, for anyone who is interested in learning more about my musical timeline.
You divide your time between a few projects, Lovespirals and Delphinium being the most visible. How does this affect the way you write?
Actually, it’s been a lot more complicated than that! Delphinium really began in the very early 90s as me collaborating with Ravensong (whom I still need to put up on Mp3.com…), until it morphed into a new project called Datura. Before Datura released anything (aside from a cassette demo), we found out another band was using the same name, so we hunted around for a new one, and came up with Delphinium. But before Delphinium really took off, Justin and I got sidetracked by another project with some friends of ours, called Ain Soph Aur. It was an improv experimental band that attempted to combine mystical traditions and music, and we got so caught up with it that Datura/Delphinium was totally forgotten!
After about a year with Ain Soph Aur, I started jamming with fellow KUCI DJ’s, doing various live and recorded improv sessions, until I ended up collaborating pretty heavily as a duet with home taper, Jake Anderson, called Celesteville. We were doing lo-fi pop stuff, with both of us switching between a ton of instruments; I played some guitar, accordion, sampler, all kinds of percussion and toys…. it was fun. I think I needed something light after that ASA experience, and I had needed both improv situations after the heavy studio time with Delphinium. I like a blend of programmed, carefully crafted music, and spontaneous performance, too much of either is a drag, musically. That’s what I learned from all that experimentation.
Anji Bee during a live on-air jam session at KUCI 88.9 FM in late 1998
Now, enter Ryan Lum! After all the insanity of live improv and 4-track cassette recording, I was pretty excited to be lucky enough to get involved with a professional recording outfit, such as Love Spirals. It can be terribly frustrating having your efforts practically thrown away for over a year, which is how I came to feel, looking back on my time with Ain Soph Aur and Celesteville. I was more than ready to settle down, write some real songs, perfect the vocals and just get really into the recording process. Unfortunately, Ryan has been overwhelmed by problems with his studio setup most of the time we’ve been together! His computer died twice, causing him to lose precious data, and he’s had a lot of problems getting his software to work correctly ever since. We haven’t actually gotten to do much work together yet, even though we’ve been together 2 years.
Meanwhile, I kept writing songs, either tucking the lyrics away in my diary, or recording the vocal melodies to cassette. Through the Internet, I started meeting various musicians, and collaborated with a few of them. I guess music is kinda like breathing for me, it’s something that I have to do in order to live, you know? I go nuts if I’m not working on something music related! It doesn’t always have to be singing, but I was so primed to work with Lovespirals last year, that I had to divert some of that energy somewhere or I was going to crack. So what happened is that I recorded with 3 different bands over 2000, all very different from one another. I did some Gothic-tinged electronica and darkwave with a band called Voiceless, experimental Drum ‘n’ Bass and Down Tempo with Aslan’s, and then some poppy Trip Hop and Drum ‘n’ Bass with Dreamzone 51. I was more or less doing all the projects simultaneously, just grooving off whatever music the different musicians would send me. Sometimes I’d use songs or poems that I had been saving for Lovespirals, but other times I’d just do something spontaneous based on their compositions, often using the working song title for lyrical inspiration. It was a crazy, creative time! I began to spread myself a little thin, so I told everyone that I had to back off and focus in on Lovespirals.
Rik interviewed Anji Bee about her various musical endeavors for his blog. The following is just an excerpt from the full interview.
Rik: You divide your time between a few projects, Lovespirals and Delphinium being the most visible. How does this affect the way you write? Do you sit down with the idea of writing a Lovespirals song for example, or do you decide where a piece will be used after it’s written?
Well, I haven’t actually done any recording for Delphinium in a few years. Justin and I started doing other projects, and then he stopped making music. He’s been saying he wants to get back into it, so perhaps we’ll collaborate again sometime in the future.
Since I’ve been in Lovespirals I’ve collaborated with a number of different musicians/musical projects, though — mostly during the end of 1999 to mid-2000. I was so excited to join Lovespirals that I went into a really creative period of songwriting, and my song journal was just overflowing. Unfortunately, Ryan was having a lot of problems with his studio, so our work was put off for a while. His computer died twice, causing him to lose a lot of precious data, and he’s had a lot of problems getting his software to work correctly ever since. We haven’t actually gotten to do much work together yet, even though we’ve been together 2 years.
Originally posted to RadioSpy, a subsidiary of GameSpy.com
Part of the goth-electronica movement, Hungry Lucy blends the milder elements of darkwave and trip-hop to create a pleasing pop sound with spooky undertones. In the vein of Switchblade Symphony and Claire Voyant, the band’s songs are carried by strong female vocals atop a bed of melancholic electronics and slow-to-mid-paced shuffle beats.
Hungry Lucy vocalist, Christa Belle, has a sultry but somewhat restrained style that really shines when well-produced (as in the smoky number “Journey”) but falters a bit when left more exposed (as with the Darkroom collaboration “Unhuman”). Her voice has a distinctly youthful quality, and the numerous glamour shots provided at the band’s site reinforce this impression. Could baby-faced sex pot Christa be goth’s answer to Christina Aguilera?
Hungry Lucy is currently offering a sampler CD via MP3.com’s Digital Automatic Music, or DAM, system. The songs are from a full-length album underway, to be titled Apparitions. Two of the EP’s four tracks are available as free downloads: “Bound in Blood,” an evil-tinged Industrial slow rocker, and “Journey,” a dreamy piano-driven number with heavenly vocals. The remaining tracks — “Watcher,” a more minimal but surprisingly catchy song, and “Cover Me,” a Peter Gabriel-esque track with a different vocal feel than the others — are offered as streaming files.
Also on the MP3.com site are two songs not featured on the DAM CD. Of the two, “Unhuman” is the least goth, offering up a jarringly funky side instead. The other, “Alfred,” is a sweet little duet between Christa and bandmate War-N Harrison (also a member of the electro-industrial outfit Fishtank No. 9), about an otherworldly love-interest. If any of these tracks make you hungry for more, the band’s independent Web site provides links to pages on MP3.com competitors Riffage and Vitaminic, where visitors can gain access to two additional free downloadable tracks, “Watcher,” which is only offered as a streaming file through MP3.com, and “Stretch,” which further diversifies Lucy’s electronic sound by adding folky acoustic guitar strumming and record scratching.
While not overly energetic, Hungry Lucy still makes music that’s much perkier, instrumentally, than your traditional gothic fare, though the band’s songs lyrics do deal primarily with death, ghosts, blood and the shadier side of life. Were it not for such lyrical subject matter, the “goth” label might not even come to mind; the music itself isn’t as suggestively dark as all that, nor are Christa’s rather innocent-sounding vocals. There seems to be a trend in darkwave circles toward a certain kind of female voice, one which hearkens back to the more ethereal styles defined by singers such as Suzanne Perry (Love Spirals Downwards), Lynn Canfield (The Moon Seven Times) and Juliana Townes (Area). With Christa singing lead, Hungry Lucy is at the forefront of this revival.
The band seems to be updating its site often while working on its debut CD, so it’s entirely likely that new songs may be available for download soon. Hungry Lucy should find wide appeal within the goth, electronica and alternative pop scenes thanks to the genre-agnostic format of the online music marketplace. Heck, with a face like Christa’s, the band could even open up a new area in the teen sensation market if it finds the right management. After all, if darksters Marilyn Manson and Trent Reznor can be accepted as sex symbols, what’s to prevent a cute little goth girl from rising to similar stature?
Anji Bee | June 6, 2000
Anji Bee is a freelance writer and musician living in Los Angeles.
Beneath the gorgeous void of you
All of you crushing me from above
Sleep for an eternity
Dream but a moment
Incubate an ache always
Always
You’re my placebo
You’re my placebo
Placebo
Beneath the gorgeous void of you
All of you crushing me from above
Sleep for an eternity
Dream but a moment
Incubate an ache always
Always. Always.
You’re my placebo
You’re my placebo
Placebo
Desire, a soft ghost
A symphony in skin
Delirious with elaborate time
Delirious with elaborate time
Placebo
Placebo
Placebo
You’re my placebo
Placebo
— by Anji Bee (BMI)
Note: I’m posting the remixed version of these lyrics because this is the one you are most likely to find if you search online. The remix is really not very different from the original, anyway. One more note, these lyrics were first created as a refrigerator poem and the spoken word part (“Desire, a soft ghost”) was taken from a poem by Brianna Cross.